Okay, I have been asked about my last post by a few people.

I am in no way depressed or even close right now. I am just on the verge of confusion. I have the tendency of making expectations of things before I embark on them. And as I set out to come here, I didnt think I would join a club this semester. So, obviously, my expectations were a lot different than what I am actually experiencing. And then stress on top of that....being expected to be perfect by over 20 girls is stressful...and Im not use to it.

Im just going through changes. Give me 11 days and I am sure things will be better. If it doesnt automatically get better, I will put forth a HUGE effort to make it that way. I can see my parents in 17 days and it will be good. I only plan on going home Fall Break and Christmas. I will see my family on Thanksgiving, but I dont go home...I go to Oklahoma. Im not trying to make huge efforts to go home at every possible opprotunity because before I came here, I made the goal that this is the year I will become more mature and stop running home whenever I get sad. I miss my parents, a lot. But I have to grow up sometimes and it just seems that now is the best time.

Sometimes, I think that maybe my pain medication makes me have these, what seem to be, irrational and not me thoughts. I didnt have them before I hurt my knee and I had been pledging/ stressing/ not getting sleep for a week. But my knee still hurts SUPER bad so I keep taking them. They also make me take good, long naps :)

I went to Physical Therapy yesterday and it was NO FUN. Amazingly, the therapist got my knee to bend about 30 degrees before he stopped, because it was hurting me sooooooooo bad that I was crying and didnt want to go anymore. My knee is swollen today and really really hurting, but Im just glad that it bent :) That means I am closer to walking. Which is SUPER exciting.
The PT told me exactly what happened, in words that I understand. My knee cap is supppose to slide up and down in a grove between bones (its hard to describe, he had a knee model to show me on). When I fell, my knee cap popped to the left OVER the bone. So the muscles on the right side of my knee are all messed up. And now, when I bend my knee, it is trying to go back over the bone it went over when I fell. And that is why it hurts like all get out when I try to bend it. So, my PT is basically trying to get my knee cap to go where it is suppose to go when I bend my knee...

Okay, I have class in 30 min and it takes me 15 to get there from here...

I hope things are going well in Portland, Germany, Arkansas, Georgia, Colleyville


I think and pray for you all daily