Love, your baby girl.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Is Anybody Out There?

So I don't even know if anyone reads this, since I hardly write on here anymore. Really when only big things pop up in my life.
And i guess this is big... I am planning on taking the certification test to become a High School history teacher!!!
When I graduated high school, that was my original plan. I was very influenced by my high school history teachers and learned many life lessons as well has history lessons. The teacher that influenced me the most in high school and has remained a very very very close friend was Theresa Douglas. Now, I am allowed to call her Theresa since I have a college diploma, but that hasent really worked out and she is still Mrs. Doug to me. She and her husband came to so many volleyball game, spent so many hours on AIM with me during the summer, sent so many texts and emails through college, and supported me in all I did. On my way back from Abilene on New Year's Eve, I got a call from Theresa... I thought it was going to be a "be careful there may be ice and we dont like the idea of you driving on it" call. But when I answered, she was on the other end crying. She asked me if I was driving and I said, "Yes", she told me I needed to pull over, but then quickly changed her mind to me calling when I got back in Houston. I knew something wasent right and I started thinking of all our common friends that could be hurt, or worse. After a couple of texts saying she was freaking me out, and responses back telling me not to worry because she was fine, I was sill high strung and had 3 more hours to drive. Finally, I got a call from my good friend, Sarah Douglas who also had Theresa in school and was introduced to me her freshman year at ACU by our common mentor. "Have you talked to anyone from CyFalls (my HS)?" After using choice words and yelling, Sarah finally told me that Rich, Theresa's husband, had passed away unexpectedly. I swerved over to the shoulder, almost cutting off another car and LOST it. I now knew why Theresa didn't tell me... she knew how I would react and knew I would not be in a safe state to drive the rest of the way. After minutes of bawling, I called my mom who calmed me down enough to be able to call Theresa and let her know that I had found out. I made that second half of my drive faster than I ever had and ever will make it again. It was not safe and it was not the best choice, but above all--- I KNEW I needed to get to Theresa. I did and one of the roughest weeks of my life started. What do you say to a 37 year old woman who's 36 year old husband just died unexpectedly? How do you choke back your own tears when your heart is breaking for the man that was as close to being a father as anyone BUT my father? How do you remain the rock when the person who was your rock for 8 years is crumbling? I answered all these questions and cried in my own time and emersed myself in the visitation, my words about Rich in front of many people, the funeral, the reception, Theresa, and most of all--- taking over her classes.

I have now been a high school economics teacher for 8 days and i have at least 4 more. And when I mean a teacher--- I mean, I teach these children. Theresa has made no plans and does not need to. I have found out in these past 8 days that I CAN be a HS teacher and I am going to try my hardest. I still love elementary. And honestly, if I don't get an offer at Cy-Falls, I don't see taking a HS position over an elementary position for a while. But, if I could work with the people that touched my life for so long....and still do, I know I will be the lucky one.

As for my walk right now... I'm exhausted. Some nights I cry, some nights I remember the good times and the hugs. I never know what the next day will bring--- and honestly, I believe that is the way it is suppose to be. I never WANTED to end up in Houston. I remember talking to Rich about that, and his answer always was, "We don't know why now, but God has a plan for you here and you are needed here." I can't tell you the pain it brings my heart when Theresa tells me, "Now we know why you are here. I need you." I wish she didn't need me. I wish he was still here. I wish he got to screen boyfriends, like he looked so forward to doing. I wish I still walked out of CyFalls from subbing and saw him there with his little midget car waiting for his wife, but coming with open arms, amazing hugs, and words of wisdom. I wish I could see his face. And I miss him.

Now, I do the best I can teaching and attempt to make the transition back to school easier for Theresa. I am working my butt off and feeling the rewards with her smiles, her thanks, and high fives and good grades from my kids. I hurt when they don't do their best and I rejoice when they do something they didn't expect... I don't know what else tells you that you are ready to be a teacher besides those feelings right there.

Rest up and look out for us, Rich. I miss you and love you.
posted by Sarah Megan at 9:55 AM | link | 0 comments

Friday, November 06, 2009

Long Overdue Update

So now that there is Facebook and Twitter, who needs a blog?!?!

Here is just an update from the past year so it doesn't look like I'm COMPLETELY lazy :)

I finally graduated in May. Thought I was going to have a job in Abilene and found out late in the summer that I didn't. Jobs, as most of you know, are not so readily available right now. So basically, I'm paying 6 figures to substitute. GGGGRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAATTTTTT. Luckily, my alternative career plan for the next yearish (maybe only til Dec. if I get lucky) is better than most people's. So I do feel blessed, but I have to remind myself daily to feel so.

I have been in elementary schools, a middle school, and now a high school. Let me tell you, folks. I can do elementary (my major) and I can do high school, but these middle school kids are out of CONTROL. I really only subbed at this school, because my favorite teacher of all time is now an AP there. Which brings me to my post. When we were chatting today, she told me about the one person who influenced her the most to become a teacher. And she told me to think about mine and always strive to be like that person. Little did she know, she is mine :) Because of this (I wrote this as a junior in college):

Okay, so I just talked to Kim and it made me look through my old emails. And I found this one, when we had to write to one of our college professors about our favorite teacher. I know I told you I wrote about you/ talked about you in my education classes a lot, but I dont think I ever sent you what I said. So here it is: remember, I was a junior so take it easy on it lacking in the grammar area, if it is :)

My Favorite Teacher was my eighth grade English teacher, Mrs. Hindt. There are several reasons I remember her being my favorite teacher and mentor. One of the things that I respected her as a teacher for, was the fact that she decorated her room for every new book we read. She went all out on decorations and it made me more excited, as a student, to learn about the book we were about to read. Mrs.Hindt also cared about us outside of the classroom. I played every sport in junior high and I vividly remember Mrs. Hindt sitting on the front row of the bleachers screaming for all of her students. Not many teachers took time outside of class to know what we were doing, but Mrs. Hindt did and I remember. I also remember how much knowledge she had for the subject she taught. She was so enthusiastic about what she was teaching, so it really didn't leave us much of a choice, but to be enthusiastic about it too. To me, it never felt like Mrs. Hindt thought of herself as being better than us, just because she was a teacher. She realized we were individuals and often tried to get down on our level, both physically and emotionally, to help us with school, problems, and most of all---emotions. My emotions were always safe in Mrs. Hindt's room and continue to be safe whenever I talk to her. Lastly, one of the cool and outrageous things about Mrs. Hindt was the fact that she never wore the same outfit twice in a school year. Also, Mrs. Hindt's reading glasses always matcher her outfit, and not in a black or brown type of way, but she must have owned over 50 pairs of reading glasses. She also painted her fingernails to match her outfit every day and she knew that it made us come to class excited...if not for anything else, but just to see what she would be wearing that day. I still keep up with Mrs. Hindt, almost seven years later, and I still feel like she cares for me the same way she did when I sat in her class on a daily basis! I will always remember Mrs. Hindt. I will remember the hugs, the smiles, the countless laughs, the life discussions, and the true passion and love she had for her students and her job. If I had to give credit to one teacher for influencing me to be a teacher, it would hands down, be Mrs. Hindt. Most students can't truthfully say they love their teachers, but every time I email Mrs. Hindt, I tell her- because it is true and it always will be. She was a huge part of my teenage years, the greatest teacher, and one of the best mentors a kid could have asked for.

From the mouths of babes (if junior year makes me a "babe"). Mrs. Hindt and I talk on a monthly basis and I substituted in her building for two days. Today, hearing the words, "BLOODY TRIFLING" coming out of her mouth brought back good memories and reminded me WHO I want to be as a teacher for the kids that are in my classes now, and especially for the kids that will be in my first classroom and every year after that. Teachers are one of the most important people on the planet. And I don't just say that because I am a teacher, I say that because I was a student...and I remember.
posted by Sarah Megan at 2:56 PM | link | 0 comments

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Prayer Request

Thats my cousin, Ali's baby boy. His name is Cannon Mark and he was born on December 30, 2008.

This is where the prayer request comes in. Cannon has spina bifida. He was taken a month early, but seems to be doing fine right now. He had surgery to close the lesion in his back on New Year's Eve. At this time, they are waiting to see if he is going to need a shunt put it, something that is common for preemies.

Here is their blog for updates

Thanks for the prayers.
posted by Sarah Megan at 9:15 AM | link | 0 comments

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Here is the one thing that can guarantee a smile out of me these days.

His name is Ranger and I found him about a week and a half ago. Lucky thing I took him too, because I heard the other puppies he was running around with got taken by the pound the next day. Anywho---he isn't staying with me, because he still whines and no way could I hide him in my non-allowing pet apartment. He is staying with Shelly, but I see him at least once a day and do all the mommy things. He is sweet and is a fast learner. I adore him and am glad I have something fluffy to hang on to for these rough times.
posted by Sarah Megan at 7:26 PM | link | 0 comments

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Branching from Kristi's are my thoughts.

God of Wonders,
I don't know how to even express these thoughts. It is so hard to see the good in things you do. I've been seeing so much hurt in the lives of two of the people i am closest here in Abilene. And when they were just coming out of the darkness, you hit us with something that is so much worse. I've made it past the past 6 months emotionally and I thought you had thrown me all the curves you had. Why did you choose her? Such an energetic and loving child. I will never forget the bouncing curls and the instant love my first summer in Portland. And the constant love and support the VDK's and Caiti have given me ever since. God, I love that family with a lot of my being. They follow you. I know you love them. I know you care for them. Please wrap them in your arms. Leukemia is such a scary and overwhelming thing. Especially for a 4 year old and her family. Please, God, show us how to be there for them. I want more than anything to be in Portland right now. I don't know what to do right now from so far away. I know my prayers are heard and I know that is just as important, but my hear still breaks because I can not be there. Please, God, help all who are involved and care for the VDK's.

posted by Sarah Megan at 8:16 PM | link | 0 comments

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Nothing new really.
Clubing (social club, not other...well at least not regularly enough to mention)

Oh funny thing. Was definitely in a little shoot out yesterday at a 7eleven. And Im fine, everyone is fine, but seriously I cant sleep and I am so nervous. Good hen distracted, but nights are the worst, truthfully. Thank goodness I have good parents that have been checking on me, a wonderful boss who stayed with me last night until my roommate got home because I couldnt be alone. Eventhough we just sat in silence. She is priceless to me... literally. Okay, so maybe it isn't that funny. I just figured it would lighten the blow for all of you readers, because anyone in abilene that knows has flipped out when I told them. So I tried to make it a little easier on you.

Student teaching should be fun. I got requested for the first half at a school where one of my club sponsors is the principal (which is 3rd and 4th grade) and now the early childhood teacher that i am observing has requested me for the second i figure that will be a great array of ages for my resume.

Thats all.
posted by Sarah Megan at 6:27 PM | link | 3 comments

Monday, September 01, 2008

Well, at least I made it before the one month point.
Life is just busy, folks. School started down here in the south last monday, but for me it started the thursday before that with a lil thing the education department likes to call August Experience. This little experiment puts all the students who will student teach sometime during this school year with a teacher for the two days before school and the first two days of school. You know, the most exhausting times for a teacher :)

I thought I did okay with the two days before school started. But then I ended up at the emergency clinic because I thought I was having a heart attack (seriously). And in Abilene you go to the clinic first because they see you faster than the ER and if you need to go to the ER you go from the clinic in an ambulance and that automatically puts you at the front of the line. Turns out they said it was just inflamation and strained chest muscles, but that it definitely feels like heart problems. Good grief, then the nurse came with the shot and Shelly got to see how I really react to needles, a feat she has only heard about. I'm once again glad she is hear as I sat bawling scared I was aging way too fast.

Then, The first couple of days of school I got left with an emotionally disturbed girl from my class who races toward streets and bangs her head against walls. I only have 17 more hours in this placement...thank the Lord. Tuesday afternoon I ended up at work, in Shelly's office bawling my eyes out and doubting the only life dream I have ever known. Thanks first to a phone call to Daddy and then Kristi Cash White and finally a long sit down and drinks with Shelly I am back on the rise again. I still have small doubts, but I'm sure everyone does when they are in their senior year with real life breathing down their back.

So here we go----19 hours of school, 70 hours of observation, at least 24 hours of work a week, and homework. Its going to be a long semester all about keeping my head above water. And hopefully with no more trips to the clinic....good grief.
posted by Sarah Megan at 6:37 PM | link | 0 comments