So, I had a dream last night. I was in the grocery store and I saw someone that I use to love more than anyone. I followed this person just to make sure that it was them. It was. I then avioded them. This person pushed their cart behind me and my mom in the line. I didnt say anything, but my mom told this person, "Dont just pull up here like you dont know her." The person put thier hand on my back, like they always do before they hug me. I ran as far away as I could.

I would love to say that I dont have any clue why I had this dream. But I know exactly why I had this dream. Their have been many emotional experiences in the past two weeks of my life, the biggest ones in the past few days. I have to say that I lost trust in people, I have forgiven some, and I have chosen to not even try with others. Ive been hurt, and eventhough "there is beauty in the breaking", I am in the middle not even knowing what to do. My brain tells me one thing, to protect myself from these people, and not let them do it again. But my heart tells me that these people were there for me in important times of my life.

I have learned that there are people you thought you could trust, and you can't. Life changes, and I suppose people change too. It sucks to realize that, but Im glad I realized it before I got to deep into it.

Im glad I learned this weekend those who actually care about my feelings. It was an amazing feeling to sit and talk on the phone for an hour with a person I was livid with 24 hours before. I cant say its where we were, but I have trust that it will get back there.

As for the others, "Im not ready to make nice...Im not ready to back down." I will stand up for me, my maturing, my plans, and my life.




Holidays were amazing. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love going to Oklahoma and spending a weekend with my family. Stunk that I had to leave Friday night, but at least is wasent Thursday. Next time Ill see the fam is Christmas Eve :(
Thanks Cheronn for keeping me awake on that last hour of drive to Abilene!