Have you ever had the feeling that you know someone is becoming part of your past?

I have it right now. My life is the best it has ever been. I know I have family and friends that love me. I am having the best year at school since ever, really. I'm becoming an adult; age and maturity wise.

So why does it still hurt knowing that I'm losing someone. Even if some would say I am the one pushing away? Maybe I'm not ready emotionally for this person to be part of my past. But still, in my mind...I cant help but think it would be the best thing for me after it is done. I don't even know if love will be there when its all over. I guess only time will tell.

Im 20 years old. Officially. I thank all of ya'll who sent cards and emails. And i got a pretty nifty package in my mailbox today from my bestest "adult" friend. Oh, and that little maroon thing :) Gotta love the parentals present of a Land Rover :)

This was the best birthday in a long time. I hung out with my friends here and the friends I am far away from made EVERY effort to make me feel love from miles and miles away. To start the day of talking to Cheronn on the internet and Julya on the phone. I have a new car, I have an income, I am getting to see TONS of my family in two weeks, Im going back to where I want to be this summer, and I feel like my life is going exactly the way I want it to.


Thank you God. For the first sentence of this blog, for my AH-mazing friends, and for the gift of yet another year.