"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living." - Hope Floats

Tell me that isnt the truth...oh wait, it is....

If I wanted to sum up this summer, it would take so many posts, because I know there would be tthings I would forget and then have to come back and put up again. But, we can try, I suppose

1. PUMP as a whole. I have never beben to a church like PUMP before. At first, I thought I would miss West Houston more than anything. But, I know when I go back to Texas--- that PUMP is going to be the church that I long for in my heart. The people at PUMP are genuine. I love some of them more than others, but they all individually hold a part of my heart. Every one who goes there CHOOSES to go there. It isnt an easy thing for some of them. I know a many of people that drive past Churches of Christ to get to PUMP. They are there for the kids and the community. I love it. I love the worship more than anything at PUMP. We have been lucky to have worship in the house last week and tomorrow, from what I hear. The way our voices bounce off that wall is the most amazing sound I have heard. It has evevn surpassed Kadesh Ampitheater worship in my heart. I feel more at PUMP. I know my heart is with God the entire time, and that is something that DEFINITELY makes me want to come back to PUMP.

2. PSP....is the hardest job I have had. Has the longest days, the most emotional stress, and dirtest days I have ever experienced. But when I get home..I find myself not being able to wait to go back the next day. My emotional stress will someday turn into those kids' emotional gain. Deep down, I know that and I accept the stress and disappointments of the days...so that the kids will have a long term effect of PSP.

3. The love of the PSP kids....is something I also have never experienced before. They love you...no matter what they tell you. I had that happen to me this week. When I thought a certain little boy hated me, and then this past week, he came up and told me he wanted a hug from me. Folks, its working. The sweat and tears I have shed are getting to them and that makes me heart feel good.

4. The house...is a place a feel like home. I love the Lowerys. I knew that when I came here. What they are to me, I didnt think was able to be topped. But, it has been... I cant imagine living with two greater examples. I love them so much. They make me feel like I belong here. And that is more than I could have asked of anyone. I cant express the happiness and love I feel here. The only way I could see to explain it, is to say that I dont want to leave here. With all of me, I want to stay.

5. Porland...the most beautiful city in the world. I want to move here. Really, when I graduate, but if that doesnt work...I know I want to be here by the time I die. Every day I spend in Portland adds to my yearning a little more. I can see myself here. I can see myself hanging out downtown on the weekends and being a part of PUMP and eating dinner outside.


Final words....I dont want to leave, and it is going to be a hard and tearful goodbye (well....at least til next summer.....maybe) Thank you to all of you have been a part of my unexpected, but geniune love of my summer experience.

Well, this morning it was brought to my attention that the tables of mentoring are changing. No longer am I the one that needs to be mentored. I am the one doing the mentoring.

I was amazed when a timid little girl came and sat in my lap during worship today. I didnt ask her to, although I loved every minute of it. This little girl who would not even say one word to me three weeks ago, can not get enough of me now. And its a good thing that I love spending time with her as well.

Obviously, I have had one main amazing mentor in my life, and I am so glad that I have someone like that to look up to still, eventhough now it is ME who is going to be the one who is being looked up to.

I come to you asking for prayers with this as well. I just pray for my ability to give this child as well as other one what they need spiritually and emotionally

Will I want to leave here?

That is the question that keeps running through my mind. Five weeks ago, I could never really have seen myself asking this question. But, I love it here. I love Portland and Im not sure I am going to want to leave in 5 weeks.

Dont get me wrong, I totally miss my family. I want to go home, but I dont see myself there in the long run. Houston just doesnt really seem to fit me. True, Portland may not be the place either, but I like it here. It just seems to me that I fit here. My arm of a puzzle piece fits into the notch that is Portland. Sometimes I think, well its because Karla and Kerry are here. I know they may not be here forever. And when they told me stuff about contracts and all (which obviously, like any contract is able to be renewed, shortened, etc.) I got excited about the fact that they could actually end up in Texas again. But the longer I am here, the more I realize that I would move here even if they were back in Texas.

There is just so much to do here. I swear there is like 4 different downtowns. Its ridiculous. The people here are definitely nicer than people in Houston. Which is weird because, a lot of people say that Texans are nice, but Ive lived there my whole life and I have run into so many more cheerful people here.

PUMP is here. Something that I was not so sure I would be able to fall into so fast. But, sometimes kids help you do what you think is the impossible. I know it will be devestating for me to leave PUMP kids at the end of the summer. The smiles on their faces and how you pretty much always end up having one in your lap during Sunday morning church. It is something I know I will miss while I am back in Texas.

Obviously, while they are still here...I will miss the Lowery's when I am in Texas. They are amazing people. I admit...pedistals (sp?) were in place before I came here. And now, after conversations and just time together, I realize more than ever that they are people just like me. They had problems just like I ave been going through, and their lives are definitely not picture perfect. But, I also see the way they look at eachother and the way they make the best out of everything that they do and it inspires me. Sometimes it reminds me of my parents, and always it reminds me of how I want to be married and be just like my parents and the Lowerys.

I am excited about seeing my family and then going to ACU, but Im even more excited about hopefully coming to visit in December and then coming back next summer to be with the people I love in Portland...

I have learned so many things since I have been here. I have tried new things that I never thought I would. But one of the most important lessons, has not been fully learned right now. It is the lesson of flexibility (time wise, not physically)

I guess this lesson could apply to the kids, but mostly right now, it is applied to the way I spend my free time here.

I LOVE knowing what I am going to do. It doesnt necessarily have to be like scheduled out, but I like to know what and WHERE I will be sometime throughout the day. Let me tell you what, that is just not how the interns work here. We tend to just go by the wings of our pants and most times, I am not comfortable with that. I mean, i dont stress, and I dont fear...I just really dont know how to explain what I feel, I just dont like it....

On Tuesday afternoon, all interns were just chilling at our house and knew we wanted to eat and watch fireworks. But no one would say anything about where to eat or where to watch fireworks, or when all of this was going to take place.....so while I was talking to Karla about it in the study (Freaks and Geeks is just not a show I would prefer to watch a second time...so I didnt stay in there the whole time) I got a yellow rubber band flicked at me. When i questioned the intentions of that flick, I got the answer..."this is going to help us to be flexible".

I knew Karla was not the most flexible person, she likes to havev things planned. And until this summer, I never realized how bad about flexibility I really am. So the lesson I am going to work on this summer is to relax and go with the flow. Karla and my matching yellow rubber bands will hopefully keep us both on track :)